Read or scroll to the end of this blog for some questions to facilitate listening for yourself!
We have all heard that we should listen more frequently, be more skilled at listening, and listen more sincerely. Yet, even with double the ears than mouths, listening is not commonly practiced and often feigned (faked).
I don’t know about you, but I have never been much of a fan of listening. I am more of a talker myself.
I had typically seen listening in more of a subservient, inferior, and compliant position. The listener was learning from the informed and successful teacher. The listener was heeding the preferences of the talker. The listener was adopting the values of the speaker.
I have listened to show that I cared or to be helpful to the other person, but I did not realize the powerful awareness listening makes available to me. When I didn’t see listening as the gift it is, I profoundly limited my awareness and wisdom
Over the years, I have come to accept that increased awareness only comes from true listening – listening without resistance, interruption, denial, or invalidation. Listening to others, your environment, your own heart and soul give you a collection of perspectives that get you closer and closer to what is actually present. The more we listen, the closer we get to working with what is real – and working with what is real is, well, actually workable.
When we demand that others listen to us, we only listen to respond, defend, convince, or sell, and/or we stay stuck in illusions that are unworkable.
Often we resist listening for good reasons, yet there is likely even better reasons to work through that resistance and develop deeper value, skill, and receptivity in listening.
If I know I am getting something out of listening, well, I am more likely to do it. So here I have listed a few of the gifts listening gives us when we do it well. May this inspire you to get more out of life by listening.
We Listen Because Listening Gives Us
We listen to experts because listening gives us the value of their experience and education
We listen to mentors because listening gives us invested support and self reflection
We listen to those we love because listening gives us understanding and connection
We listen to the world around us because listening gives us realistic awareness of our environment
We listen to those we serve because listening gives us greater skill in serving
We listen to the market because listening gives opportunity to successfully and sustainably contribute value
We listen to God because listening gives us alignment with kindness and creativity of the Creator
We listen to children because listening gives us renewed awe for the vibrant and vulnerable gift of life
We listen to our hearts because listening gives us access to our relational and eternal desires
We listen to our souls because listening gives rich meaning to our experiences
We listen to our minds because they listening gives us insights and new ideas
We listen to our bodies because listening gives us invitations to tenderly care for our life here
QUESTIONS TO UNWRAP THE GIFT OF LISTENING
- Who do you most often listen to and why?
- Who do you most often interrupt to give your opinions and why?
- Who does exceptionally well at listening to you? How do you know?
- What in your environment are you afraid to listen to? Why?
- What has your loved ones been saying that you have resisted hearing?
- When have you listened to those you serve and it improved your ability to be more effective in serving them?
- Are you more prone to listen to your heart, soul, mind, or body?
- Of your heart, soul, mind or body, which do you most often invalidate? Why?
- How has listening wounded you in the past? With whom was it? How have you coped with that?
- Who or what aspect of you have you not listened to in the past? How has that wounded you? Does that experience make you want to listen more or less?