5 Emotional Taboos that are Costing You

Here are 5 taboos about emotions that hinder healthy emotional expression and processing. Belief in these taboos can easily lead to burn out, addiction, poor relationships, and confusion:

1. Emotions are childish. This assumption that emotions are for children expose our fear that emotions make us vulnerable. Children need guidance to comfort, resolve, and clarify their emotions. Unfortunately, many times they are shamed or ignored in their emotional expressions. Therefore, these children grow into adults that have no training on how to understand or nurture their emotions and will likely shame or ignore emotions in others. A large portion of our brains and bodies even as adults are intended to function and thrive on feelings. If we ignore this, we hinder our health & growth, spiritually, relationally, and even physically. As adults we must honor that we feel and sense our environment as well as analyze it. Once we acknowledge our soul, we can practice the art of understanding and nurturing our soul. Emotions make life very rich.  If we try to grow up and out of our emotions, we may not feel as much pain or vulnerability but we lose a lot of our wisdom, intuitive senses, desires, compassion, etc.
2. Emotions make someone overly dramatic. Criticism toward people who express emotions implies that these people are over reacting or ridiculous. Unfortunately, this prevents the insights and resolution that may occur by paying attention to the feeling and recognizing its signal. When someone experiences pain but does not receive comfort or resolution, that person is likely to accumulate pain. Then he or she will seemingly “over react”  when this accumulated pain gets triggered or hit upon. A magnified reaction is often a signal that more attention needs to be given to resolving the pain. Pain that not only relates to the current situation but also the underlying patterns, beliefs, or pain. When you react in a way that feels out of proportion to the situation, there is likely a deeper reason such as: insecurity, continually violated boundaries, ignored trauma, ignoring signals, etc.
3. Emotions are just an excuse to avoid responsibility. People have abused emotions as a means to justify laziness or even violence. “I just didn’t feel like it, “ or “You made me mad.” Yet, just because people abuse emotions as excuses for unacceptable behavior does not mean that the emotions are the fault or cause. The fault lies in the person’s lack of resolution and ownership. For instance, I accused my resistance to participating in a number of projects as laziness when it was really a need to pull back and get clarity. I ignored my emotions instead of owning them and finding a wise resolution for them. The resistance was actually trying to tell me that I was putting my time and energy in projects that did not align with my truest values. I burnt out after wasting a number of years. Finally, I understood my emotions enough to recenter and get onto the track that was best suited for me.
4. There are good and bad emotions. We use judgment to pushes things away from us. If there is anything our society wants to avoid it is pain. This denial and avoidance results in a range from numbing to addiction of various types. Trying to be happy at any cost, the fullness of self awareness, insightful resolution, and depth of connection is lost. Emotions that we tend to shame or blame are sadness, anger, and fear. Stay engaged with Art of the Heart, because I will be discussing the reasons we resist this emotions in the future as well as the value they add to our lives.
5. Emotions are inconvenient. Emotions will likely not fit into your fully packed agenda. Yet, if we ignore our emotions over time we will hit empty and this will be even more inconvenient. When the gas tank hits E or check engine light goes on, these are inconvenient but important signals. If we ignore them, there will be a bigger price to pay later.

 

Practicing getting in touch with your emotions is a process of deep value. This process will give you greater clarity and richer experiences and connections.  Art of the Heart teaches and uses number of techniques yet the essential ingredient is a compassionate and attentive presence.  To better understand and identify your emotions, visit https://katieclose.com/naming-your-feelings.

Cultivating a self accepting and deeply aware relationship with yourself will take practice especially if you have been trained to ignore and shame/blame your emotions. Connect with Art of the Heart sessions for exponential growth in these areas.

Here Lize Marie from Two Amigo Tuesdays interviews me on this very topic!